Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my sisters under your porch take her home
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
