Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
