and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
