It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
