Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
