dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
