idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
