"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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