Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
