I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
only if we run a train.
done.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
