There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
North Korea, Best Korea!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
