I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
