If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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