Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
