I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
