I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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