I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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