If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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