Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
