you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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