Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
