she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
