come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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