She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
