I just pynch a tree in the face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
