Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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