I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
