I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
