At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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