Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
