You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
