If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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