erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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