Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
