yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
