Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
