I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
