Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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