There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
