i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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