i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
