But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
