Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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