i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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