Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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