dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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