Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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