another moral hangover. fuck.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
