why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
