when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
