drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
