You're my little dorito
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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