$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
