I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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