Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So squirting runs in the family.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
