one two three fourrrrnication!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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