She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
