Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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