She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
