He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
